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I mean, yeah, if I had the right record, I could do whatever, but I'm cool. I don't need that right now. August 16th, I went on tour -- went and did my first show, like real show, and I toured for like two and a half years straight. I thought, 'Okay, I don't need to get all this now. I wanna be in big arenas! I want stadiums! I want to be as big as Rihanna and fucking Jay-Z breaking out. I dug myself a little hole and jumped in it and buried myself and just kind of hid away from everyone and became self-destructive.
It worked, which is good cause I was able to get myself out of it. The self-destructive hole that Miller speaks of is his much-discussed addition to lean, a dangerous cocktail that includes promethazine, or prescription-grade cough syrup. To this day, I still fuck with drugs.
I did get clean, but I love drugs. I'm just saying, be smart about it. I think when I was in to the lean heavy, I think what it was is that it created this numbness which I liked. I was 19 years old and I was the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation. I've like, got people with families depending on me. Like, fuck dude. The numbness thing was like I was going through a lot of relationship issues, going through a bunch of different shit so I just kind of wanted to just like, shut it all out.
At just 21 years old, Miller still doesn't seem to want to fully grow up yet, nor does he seem fully sure of who he is yet. He giddily expresses admiration for those who came before him, calling Jay-Z "one of the best," gushing over Kanye West's "Yeezus," and taking out his iPhone to show-off a background photo of himself and Nas.
He pads around his backstage area without shoes, wiggling his toes in multicolored, patterned ankle socks as he talks. He takes risky opinions on controversial topics such as the dangers of the drug molly and finds humor in overwhelming misogyny. If you have sex on molly, it's consensual. Like, they were calling molly this date-rape drug and shit -- it's not a date-rape drug. I don't even like to have sex when I roll. If I'm rolling and I'm with a girl, I'm much more likely to have a good conversation.
For real. If you just think about it. It's all about imagery. Imagine me coming home, like to my girlfriend, and being like, really upset about my day and being like, 'I just need to have fucking anal sex. And some girls like anal sex! But is any of it real? From , there was just too much good music coming out to pay him any mind. Drill music became popular. Watch the Throne dropped. Just exactly "who the fuck is Mac Miller? Mac Miller, born Malcolm James McCormick died of an apparent overdose last week at the young age of Exactly one week before my 26th birthday.
One of my favorite musicians from the past five years, who's worked with damn near all my favorite artists from this decade, was unexpectedly gone, just like that. That ugly reminder of mortality. It struck a chord on many untuned levels. I'm not ashamed to admit that I teared up several times this weekend after hearing the tragic news. It's tough to even write this now. Unlike Mike, he was metaphorically within arm's reach to his audience because of how honest and inviting he was into his complex and troubled world, using lyrics as a conduit.
Keep Swimming. How "Easy Mac with the cheesy raps" evolved into more than just another frat rapper
On the surface, however, he seemed like a regular, approachable person with an unrelenting smile. A personal friend.
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From the excellent profile by Craig Jenkins, published on September 6th, A steady trickle of excited rap fans stop him to say hello. The few that linger to talk longer all seem to want something; one wanted a feature for his mixtape, and another asked the rapper to check out his SoundCloud page, graciously sparing us the spectacle of a street cipher. Mac is cordial and patient with people even when he appears to smell a pitch coming. The most striking fan interaction happened when two deaf girls asked for autographs outside the hotel. Mac was quietly floored by this. I've lost close friends - figuratively and literally - to drug addiction and accidental overdoses.
Spectators that apathetically say addiction is not a disease or "they didn't try their best to get sober" don't truly understand the nature of this beast. He was trying to get better.
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From Rembert Brown's Grantland feature of Mac in In the summer of , Mac hit a low point, which also became a personal breakthrough. And got clean. Mac Miller was extremely transparent about his trials and tribulations since the start of his Second Act, which unofficially commenced with Macadelic. After Blue Slide Park was critically panned, he became deeply hurt and dove into the turbulent and murky waters of depression, using substances as a buoy.
The music reflected a darker time in his life, a strong contrast from his "frat rap" days, but it exhibited a growing development of Mac as an artist.
Odd Future and TDE features? A guest verse from the fabled Jay Electronica?? In 1 hour, my stance on Mac had done a complete I no longer saw him as "Easy Mac with the cheesy raps. I was hooked; reeled in by the quality and left reeling from the content.
This ebb trended upwards with the set of releases over the next couple years; the creation of the SoundCloud-prolific Larry Fisherman , his producer alter-ego; the darkly-manic Faces , which many consider to be his best rap project; and, GO: OD AM , a title that could be interpreted differently depending on what track you listened to. Each loosie and full project displayed his maturity not only as a rapper but as an artist and more importantly, a person. Evident with his fanbase growing during this time, Mac's self-awareness and open honesty about his struggles connected with many people experiencing similar such as addiction and depression.
Balancing light and dark, always with a hopeful attitude. That's important to remember. Going forward, it will also be incredibly difficult to revisit because of the written content. A large chunk of listeners started to really dive into his music during the Third Act with The Divine Feminine , and Swimming , the most technically well-rounded albums in Mac's catalog.
The sound was intimate, warm, and a different type of personal. Both were jazzy, groovy, concise, and orchestral. For The Divine Feminine , love was the primary topic. For Swimming , Self Care ruled the subject matter; he acknowledged his problems but displayed them in a grown and controlled manner.
The Third Act signified the growth of an angsty teen into a functional adult who is still trying to figure everything out, just like everyone in their mids. According to the same Jenkins feature above, there were misconceptions about the complete inspiration for both projects as some of the initial ideas pre-dated the final product. These thoughts of evolving and improving himself have been around for a while.
Unfortunately, tragically, the waters were muddied before he reached his goal. I like different responses.